Text for the Map of My Head
As described by my essay, these are the phrases that would comprise the “noodles” of my map. My intent was to cut each line into a strip, tape all of the strips together, and weave the resulting strand through the grid of chicken wire; all of this was to be contained within the cardboard box.
Where is the snooze button… I need to be sleeping more. I can’t believe I let you keep me up that long talking about such bullshit. I can’t believe I’m still talking to you. I might still love you, but not enough to try to stay with you. Don’t ask me what I think, you really don’t want to know. Gran would’ve known just how to answer that. I miss Gran. I wonder if she’s actually in heaven, or hell, or Elysium, or whatever. I wonder if she got reborn as some German librarian—she would have like that, I think. Is that even real? Is God even real? Is it time for lunch yet? Why are the kids never ready for lunch, even if it’s this late? Thank God it’s nap time. Okay, there might be a God. God, I need to get a new job. How am I going to afford next semester and still pay for the car? I hate how sleepy nap time makes me, especially with all this rain—wait, did I put the car windows up? Shit. I wonder if Karen can let me go check—of course not. God I hate working here. I hope one of those last applications goes through. I should send out a few more tonight, after I finish that calculus test. Jason, take the toy out of your mouth and go rinse it off. That’s yucky, dude, don’t do it again. Antiderivatives add one to the exponent, right? I think so. Sammy would know, I should text her. We should really hang—stupid phone, “hang,” not“gang”—out again soon. She is such a great friend. I need more friends. I wonder how Powell’s doing today. God, I miss her. I hope she’s happy. She has such a great opportunity down there, I wish she and Nick didn’t have to be so far apart right now, they’re both so crazy without each other. I wonder if she can come up for my birthday. We can make cookies and drink and get crazy giggly like last time… and I should not be thinking about that at work. I wonder where I should get lunch. Micky D’s is cheaper, and their drive-thru is always faster. Burger King takes foreeeever to get through the line, but it’s easier to get to and I like their food better. Going into the cafeteria always makes me feel weird. I should be used to feeling weird by now. I always thought that was just something you dealt with in high school and then grew out of, like acne and braces and wearing way-too-big t-shirts tucked into belted jeans. Small wonder I didn’t date until college, not until Barry came along and ohgodidoNotwanttogodownthatroadrightnow. Mrs. Langdon? This is Megan from the daycare. I’m sorry, but Kaleigh’s really not feeling well, she’s got a bad fever, she needs to be taken home. We’ll see you in an hour. Thanks. Should I start taking self-defense classes again? Or maybe just go to the gym more. PT should be coming up here soon, my score is going to suck this time around. I really need to be doing more sit-ups. What time did I start my break again? I think I’m late. Lori probably won’t even look up from her computer… I wonder what her malfunction is, why does she hate me? I should never have taken this job. God, I need to get a new job. Kent campus should be hiring tutors soon. I’d be able to get home earlier. Mom would like that. Wonder what she’s up to, should be about time to go pick up the boys from school. I can’t believe they have AP exams next week and they aren’t even studying. They’re going to fail, the knuckleheads. Drew at least knows better; Justin’s just being an idiot. Mommy’s coming, Max, don’t cry honey. Mommy will be here soon, she’s just running…about an hour late. It’s okay, she’ll be here soon. I wonder if David’s finished his math stuff yet. Did he understand synthetic division after his last class? Maybe I should help him study… but we’d probably end up on his couch again… Not at work. Just two more hours of this, and I can take off these shoes, and sit down, and it’ll be quiet, and I can relax. And do integrations—well, at least it will be quiet. AJ, that is not a nice word. We don’t call our friends that name, they have their own names, and that’s what we call them.Did I remember to sign out that last kid? How can corporate honestly expect me to watch this many kids, and do this much paperwork, and still teach the curriculum? When was the last time they tried working in a classroom—seriously?! No, Abby, no piggyback rides today, Ms Megan’s back still hurts from the last time you jumped on me. I have to go, it’s time for me to go home, would you please let go of my leg, goodbyeIloveyouseeyoutomorrow—Gone! Why won’t this guy do the speed limit? Nope, wait, he is—I’m the one speeding. I can’t wait to get home and put on my pjs. This song is awesome! I hope David gets out early tonight so we can watch a movie. Tonight is a good night for Moulin Rouge, I think. He’s supposed to be home soon. Do I have time to go home and change? Not really, but he’s too sweet to say anything about it. I wish I were better for him. He deserves someone nicer. I should stop picking on him—red light. Egads, but I’m tired. Maybe no movie tonight, just a quick dinner and snuggling in the car on the way back. I should be getting home soon, I need to get some sleep tonight. I should really be sleeping more.
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